The former Night Owl Cinematic ("NOC") Sylvia Chan is back and hitting hard. Unless you have been living under a rock, the NOC saga has been dragging on for 3 years now. For those wondering what this is about, I will leave the link to her latest YouTube videos here. Today's post is not about the NOC saga, rather, it is on dealing with similar situation in commercial or voluntary organisations where you have Party 1 and Party 2 going after each other throats and where you are being drawn into the "Dirty Messy Fiasco". I will just share my thoughts on the handling of such situation in event that you are being drawn into the quicksand or is actually part of the warring party.
1. If possible, don't get drawn in at all.
Avoid taking sides or joining any camps if you encounter such disputes/fights going on between Party 1 and Party 2. Don't ever just listen to one side, always listen to the other side also for their version of what actually happened. You will find that most of the time, there are no obvious right and wrong over what had happened.
The only thing of certainty is that those participating (and if you are caught in it) in such fiasco end up either worsening the already ugly situation or making even more enemies.
2. 鹬蚌相争，渔翁得利 （The fisherman takes advantage from the fight between the snipe and the clam).
I have seen this happened in my home's residential committee. 2 groups of residents levying breach of statutory act by the other group or accusation of fraudulent use of funds or abuse of power. The 2 groups were so busy fighting one another that the subcontractors/vendors got away with slacking on the job as the committee overseeing them were too busy with infighting. End of the day, it is a lose lose situation for all.
3. The Narcissist will not listen- His/Her viewpoint is always supreme and right over others.
If you are dealing with a narcissist out on a war path against you, don't waste your time. Try to avoid that person or speak directly to his/her boss to directly override him/her. If unfortunately the person with narcissism is your boss, then maybe better to just resign and look for new job as nothing much you can do.
Note: Narcissistic personality disorder ("NPD") is actually a mental illness which involves a pattern of self-centered, arrogant thinking and behavior, a lack of empathy and consideration for other people, and an excessive need for admiration. Others often describe people with NPD as cocky, manipulative, selfish, patronizing, and demanding.
Parting thoughts
A lot of time, lack of communications or misunderstanding lead to many conflicts. In addition, always show proper respect to ensure that the other party does not lose too much "face" during communication even if the other party is "wrong" in your own opinion. Sometimes, ego is the root of all evil. 😎
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